There is a very large gray cupboard in our house that my husband would probably be delighted to never move again.

I bought it years ago.

It wasn't a particularly fine antique. In fact, it looked as though it had probably spent part of its life in somebody's workshop or garage.

It was enormous.

Chippy.

A little beat up.

And I loved it.

My father, who appreciated beautiful, high-quality antiques, couldn't quite understand why I would buy such a falling-apart thing.

My husband wasn't particularly enamored with it either—especially after he discovered exactly how heavy it was.

He's moved it three times now.

And yes, we're still keeping it.

Because that old cupboard has done more work in our family than plenty of much prettier pieces of furniture.

For years it lived in our TV room and swallowed children's toys, books, homework supplies and all the things a family accumulates that you don't necessarily want sitting out.

We lived in old houses without much storage.

That cupboard earned its keep.

And somewhere along the way, it became part of the house.

That's the funny thing about making a home over decades.

Sometimes the things worth keeping aren't the things anyone else would have chosen.

Your Things Are Not the Decorating Problem

I think a lot of women reach a certain stage of life, look around their homes and wonder whether everything needs updating.

Maybe you've finally decided to wallpaper the dining room.

But there's already an Oriental rug.

And the mahogany table.

And your mother's china.

And a chair you've owned for twenty-five years.

And artwork collected from three different houses.

Suddenly the wallpaper you were excited about starts to feel like the beginning of an enormous project.

Will it go with everything?

Is the furniture too old?

Will the room become too busy?

Do I have to replace the rug?

No.

In fact, I would start in exactly the opposite place.

Before deciding what needs to go, look carefully at what deserves to stay.

Start With the Things You're Keeping

When I'm thinking about wallpaper for an established room, I look at what's already there.

The rug.

The upholstery.

The art.

The furniture.

The wood tones.

Not because everything has to match the wallpaper.

It doesn't.

But those things tell us something about which version of a pattern will feel at home in the room.

If you're keeping almost everything, let those pieces help guide your wallpaper colorway.

If you're replacing the upholstery but keeping the rug and antiques, you have a little more freedom.

And if you're truly starting over?

That's different.

Pick the wallpaper you can't stop thinking about and build from there.

The extent of the project matters.

Not All “Brown Furniture” Is the Same

We've spent years hearing that brown furniture is out.

I've never found that particularly useful.

I'm actually quite particular about wood furniture.

I'm not a huge fan of cherry, and glossy, dark wood furniture that looks as though it just came off a department-store floor isn't something I'm naturally drawn to.

But an eighteenth- or nineteenth-century mahogany piece with beautiful proportions and an untouched patina?

That's completely different.

I also love washed antique pine.

Old wood changes with age. It softens. It develops character and variation that you can't manufacture particularly well.

So I don't think the question is:

Is dark wood in style?

The better question is:

Is this a beautiful piece?

If the answer is yes, I wouldn't get rid of it because an Instagram room told me brown furniture was over.

Pattern Was Never Really “Out” at My House Either

There have certainly been years when interiors became quieter.

Less pattern.

Less color.

More beige.

I still had pattern.

I've always loved it.

I still love china.

Waterford.

Old Oriental and Persian rugs.

Florals.

Stripes.

Checks.

Things with a little history.

I don't want to buy something simply because it completes the look I'm supposed to have this year.

And after nearly forty years of making homes, I've learned that this is actually a very useful way to decorate.

If you keep buying what you genuinely love, eventually you end up with a house full of things that look like you.

That's much harder to achieve by following a trend.

Let the Wallpaper Be Art

This is especially important with my larger-scale papers.

Some wallpaper is designed to sit quietly in the background.

There is absolutely a place for that.

But many of my hero patterns aren't trying to disappear.

Patterns such as The Manor, Sunken Garden, and Hydrangea Row began as paintings. They're large, expressive patterns with the visible hand of the artist still in them.

They can almost feel as though someone came into the house and painted directly on the walls.

That's intentional.

And yes, that means they ask for a little commitment.

But if the wallpaper is going to be art on the wall, you don't need every other object in the room shouting for attention too.

Let some things be quiet.

Let the old table be the old table.

Let the rug ground the room.

Let the wallpaper have its moment.

And don't assume your existing artwork has to disappear.

Art Doesn't Have to Match the Wallpaper

I'm seeing more designers use abstract art over patterned wallpaper, and I understand why.

It can give the eye a place to rest.

But not everyone loves abstract art.

I don't believe in buying artwork you don't particularly like simply because it's supposedly the correct thing to hang over wallpaper.

Use art that means something to you.

A landscape can work.

A portrait can work.

A charcoal drawing.

An architectural print.

Something you brought home from a trip.

Even family photographs can have a place.

The goal isn't to find art containing the exact same blue as the flower on the wallpaper.

It's to create enough visual balance that the pieces can live together.

There's a difference.

Some of My Most Valuable Things Aren't Valuable

I have framed photographs of my children when they were small that I have a very hard time putting away.

There are little projects with their names.

Pieces of pottery.

Things they made.

They're mixed in with the “good” things.

And I like them there.

My daughter once told me that what she remembers from childhood is basically me being pregnant, having babies and painting.

She's not entirely wrong.

Those little things belong in my house because they're evidence of the life that happened here.

They don't have to pass an interior designer's test.

They've already passed mine.

A Collected Home Is Really a Collection of Time

When we were younger, we didn't travel very much.

But beginning around our fortieth birthdays, my husband and I started trying to take a trip once a year for an anniversary or birthday.

When we travel, I like to bring home something small.

A piece of pottery.

A vase.

A little piece of art.

Nothing enormous.

Nothing chosen because I know exactly where it will go.

I buy it because I like it and because it reminds me of where we've been.

Years later, those objects carry more than color into a room.

They carry a place.

A birthday.

An anniversary.

A particular version of us.

That's something I didn't fully understand when I was younger.

Over time, the objects in a home stop being simply objects.

They become markers.

Wallpaper Should Join the Story, Not Erase It

This is why I don't think decorating at this stage of life should begin with clearing everything out.

You've spent decades creating this home.

Your children have grown up around some of these things.

You've inherited others.

You've found some at antique stores.

You've carried pieces home from trips.

Your husband has apparently moved an enormous gray cupboard three times because you refuse to get rid of it.

That's a home.

The question isn't how to make all of that disappear so the room can look current.

The question is:

What can I add that makes what I already love feel even more beautiful?

Wallpaper can do that.

A strong pattern can bring color and movement into a room full of old wood.

It can make an antique feel intentional rather than dated.

It can connect an old rug to newer upholstery.

It can create a backdrop for the art, photographs, pottery, and little things that have accumulated over a lifetime.

It becomes another layer.

Don't Let a Trend Convince You to Start Over

If you genuinely don't like something anymore, let it go.

Our homes aren't museums.

But that's very different from getting rid of something you love because somebody announced that it's out of style.

Your house has taken years to become yours.

That is an advantage.

Not a decorating problem.

So before you choose your wallpaper, walk around the room.

Notice what you're keeping.

Notice what has patina.

Notice what carries a memory.

Notice what you still love even though you've owned it for thirty years.

Then choose something beautiful enough to join it.

Collected, not coordinated.

Because a beautiful home doesn't need everything to match.

It needs enough of you in it that nobody else could have put it together quite the same way.

Bring the Wallpaper Home First

If you're considering one of my larger hand-painted patterns, start with a sample.

Put it beside your antique wood.

Lay it next to the rug.

Hold it near the upholstery.

Look at it beneath the paintings you're keeping.

And give yourself a few days with it.

Samples are $5, and they're the easiest way to find out whether a pattern feels like the next layer of your home before making the larger commitment.

[Explore Melissa Dayton Art Wallpaper & Order a $5 Sample]

Your home doesn't need to start over.

It just needs room for the next chapter.